Amidst her angelic vocals and ever-changing beauty, the ‘Queen of Hip-Hop’ soul does not hold back when it comes to being transparent for her fans. In celebration of her first ever holiday album, A Mary Christmas, Mary J. Blige uses the new release as a landmark of her 21-year journey in music. While taking a step back from her hardships, Mary found herself able to dig deep in discussion about her own battle with addiction, relating to those in the artistry such as the late UK songstress Amy Winehouse, that succumbed to the pressure and costs of fame which eventually led to death.

“When I took control of my life and I said, “No more drama,” it was during that time of the No More Drama album, when I was done with drugs, I was done with alcohol, I was done with living a life where I hated myself,” said Blige. “I loved Amy Winehouse, [her death] just really hurt me, because that could have been me. It just reinforces, “OK, Mary, stay strong in this and continue to inspire the people to want to live another day.”….I know how Amy felt. I know how it feels when you wanna die.”

After growing tremendously over the years, the “My Life” singer discussed how she began to use music, her faith in God, and the love and strength of her husband, manager Kendu Isaacs as a mode of therapy to pull her through even her most difficult moments. She also went on to mention The healing power of music in addiction treatment.

“God is love, and we are supposed to love each other,” says Blige. “If we love God, we won’t judge people for being who they are… That’s the love I wanna walk in. I don’t wanna treat people bad because they might be living a different life from mine. That doesn’t mean it’s better or it’s worse. It just means that we’re different, so we just have to love each other, unconditionally.” To peep the entire interview, head over to Spin.com.